Seniors on a Road Trip

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.

When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

All the way back, the husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up.

To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her: “While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card!”

WHAT I'VE LEARNED, Part I

I've learned that when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned that just one person saying to me, You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

I've learned that being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned that you should never say no to a gift from a child.

ALWAYS LOOK ON THE INSDE

I remember reading a story once about a man

who was exploring some caves by the seashore.

In one of the caves he found a canvas bag

with a bunch of hardened clay balls.

It was like someone had rolled up some clay

and left them out in the sun to bake.

They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man

so he took the bag out of the cave with him.

As he strolled along the beach, to pass the time,

he would throw the clay balls one at a time

out into the ocean as far as he could throw.

He thought little about it until he dropped

one of the balls and it cracked open on a rock.

Inside was a beautiful, precious stone.

Excited, the man started breaking open

the remaining clay balls.

Each contained a similar treasure.

He found thousands of dollars worth

of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.

Then it struck him.

He had been on the beach a long time.

He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls

with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves.

Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure.

he could have had tens of thousands,

but he just threw it all away.

You know, sometimes it's like that with people.

We look at someone, maybe even ourselves

and we see the external clay vessel.

It doesn't look like much from the outside.

It isn't always beautiful or sparkling

so we discount it;

We see that person as less important than

someone more beautiful or stylish

or well known or wealthy.

But we have not taken the time to find

the treasure hidden inside that person.

There is a treasure hidden in every one of us.

We are wonderfully made.

Not just our physical bodies, our spiritual selves,

which are sometimes hidden from others

by the "earthen vessel."

But if you take the time to get to know that person,

and if you ask the

Spirit to show you that person

the way He sees them,

then the brilliant gem begins to shine forth.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand,

nor the kindly smile,

nor the joy of companionship;

It is the spiritual inspiration that comes

to one when he discovers that someone else

believes in him and is willing to trust

him with friendship.

Author Unknown

LIBERTY

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

-- John F. Kennedy

If we ever forget

that we're one nation

under God,

then we will be a nation

gone under.

Ronald Reagan

CHILDREN'S SCIENCE EXAM ANSWERS

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the boraxand, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean? (I do love this one...)
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Good Idea

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE IF

TONGUE DEPRESSORS CAME

IN FLAVORS LIKE CHOCOLATE

RASPBERRY INSTEAD OF

WOOD?